Tag: samit sharma

Samit Sharma

Published January 1, 2016

Happy 2016, matey!!!       

New year, still me. I haven’t emailed you since last year. Literally. That was the mandatory ‘since last year’ statement I had to make because why not?

Early today, the clock struck twelve and people all over the world celebrated a change of date. That is the simplest, most watered down way you could explain New Years celebration to an alien. But it’s actually the events of last year and hopes for a better new we’re celebrating. I guess. ‘Cause if that’s not what happens, the world really needs to get its priorities straight.       

I wanted to talk about news stuff that happened in 2015, but that’s what newspapers, TV channels and BuzzFeed are doing. The internet did what I wanted to do. Basically, the internet did its job: trying to replace people. Also, talking about 2015 is so last year.         The notable things I did today include watching a Modern Family season 7 marathon and getting a Tumblr account. Tumblr looks nothing like the funny BuzzFeed Tumblr posts compilation articles. It’s a glorified blogging thing. I’ll start tumbling once I get a clear idea of how it works.         

Other than the date, I don’t see anything else that has changed since last year. 2016 has a lot of cool movies to offer. But according to the psychic lady from Ghostbusters 2, the world ends Valentines Day this year. I don’t trust psychics. Or underwhelming sequels to epic movies. So if there’s no apocalypse, we can watch the cool movies.         

Today’s email was brought to you by Writer’s block. Not exactly the way I wanted to Kickstart the year in Email Blasts. I’ll write through the block on Tumblr. Hey, it’s new year after all.  

‘Tis, mate was the Weekly Email Blast, email 41. First one this year. Happy new year!

Samit Sharma

Published December 25, 2015

Ho Ho Ho!       

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MATEY! Christmas is finally here. The 40th Edition of the Weekly Email Blast is the Christmas special and the last blast of this year. So obviously, it’s one heck of an email. So soak up in the celebration of Yuletide, 2015, and 40 weeks of awesome emails.       

To me, Christmas is about presents, mostly. There’s also lots of food and fun hats, but presents are the number one priority. I guess it was Jesus who said, ‘Let Christmas be about presents, preferably toys.’ Normally, I wouldn’t stick to the words of a long dead son of sky-wizard, but he’s right about toys. A LEGO set or a drone or a Segway or a Nerf N-Strike or Nerf Hail Fire can make anyone’s day, especially if that day is Christmas Day.       

Celebrating Christmas is easier too, ’cause you know why, what and how you’re celebrating.  Sometimes it’s as easy as putting on a Santa hat.Everyone knows about Christmas celebrations. In case you don’t, I suggest you google it and watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special (Which also celebrates 50 years this Christmas. Yay Peanuts!)

 December 25 is the last Friday of 2015. I wanna write about how was 2015. Like people do in any stereotypical email. 2015 was the year of change. Several changes. My don’t give a crap about tests (temporarily) changed to give a little crap for the State Tests. School changed to college, range of subjects changed from wide to more specific and in-depth. And holidays. For me, five months of this year was holidays. The year still flew by real fast.          

I read hundreds of books this year, saw hundreds of hours worth of Television and YouTube. No kidding. I grew 1.4 inches taller and got 6 kilograms heavier. I updated myself to a smarter, wiser version of me. Like I do every second of my life, everyday. Yet, the segment of 2015 will kind of stand out on the Timeline.         

That was 2015 for me. How was the world during 2015, I’ll talk about next week. Meanwhile, you can read the previous 39 Email Blasts. To reminisce or whatever.          

Once you’re done with that, head over to the nearest multiplex that is screening Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Get tickets, watch the movie and be amazed.         

Again, this was my Christmas p present for ya, if you did or didn’t like it, reply to leave a review on Samazon.            

‘Tis, mate was the Weekly Email Blast, Email 40. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Samit Sharma

Published December 18, 2015

Awww!           

The weather has actually gotten kind of cold over the last week, so I thought you could use a little adorable bundle of warmth. Nothing wrong with a cute l’il Guinea pig.           

Now, let’s get to it. December has worked its magic so far. I didn’t have college this week and I probably won’t have college next week, so I get a three week Christmas holiday. It’s a damn Christmas miracle. The holidays have something to do with prelims of twelfth grade students, but it’s Santa who deserves all the credit. And probably his elves deserve some credit too. They’re the ones who actually do everything.             

I’ll leave the rest of the Yuletide stuff for next Friday. I got lots of Yuletide stuff saved up.             Now time to talk about the important thing, STAR WARS EPISODE 7 : THE FORCE AWAKENS! 

 I’m not screaming. You’re reading it that way. I’m not over excited, you are. If you are not aware of and or don’t like(you heathen!) the Star Wars franchise, you have one chance to redeem yourself. Well not exactly redeem, more like recover unused brain-assets (brassets for short)(hehehe)(sorry). Tomorrow, the entire day Sony Pix will broadcast all the previous six Star Wars movies. Starting 8 am. I know it’s a lot, but it’s worth it.             

All that hardwork is so that you are ready for the heart-stopping, pants dropping, earth shaking, record-shattering, legendary movie that is STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS. Trust me, the last sentence ain’t exaggeration (it is, the name of the movie is more than enough). Coming to theatres next Friday. On Christmas Day. Later than the rest of the world. Again, movies releasing late are the price you pay for living in India.             

YouTube saw a lot of action this week. I’ll just list them videos number wise this time.1. Star Trek Beyond 2. X Men Apocalypse 3. Independence Day Resurgence 4. Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them               

Each one is awesome in its own way.               

Plus, honorable mention: Tomorrow and Day after is the Mumbai Comic Con (!!!). It’s conveniently located at NESCO, Goregaon East. So if you’re looking for a fun way to pass the weekend, head over to Comic Con. Unleash the geek within you.               

And may the Force be with you.               

Tis, mate was the Weekly Email Blast, Email 39. Happy Weekend !!!

Samit Sharma

Published December 11, 2015

I couldn’t think of a greeting.          

That picture saved me a lot of trouble. I don’t think that Corgi is saying hello. By the looks of his face, I’d say he’s pledging allegiance to Trump or something.

But he’s a dog, so all is forgiven.            

US Presidential elections take place within a month, and in case you didn’t know, here’s how they work:•The Twenty-Second amendment disallows any President to rule for more than two terms, (Buh bye, Obama)•Candidates primarily run through the Democratic Partyand the Republican Party. They can also run independently, but that doesn’t work out a lot for them.•There have been 43 Presidents; 15 Democrats and 18 Republicans. But 44 terms, ’cause Grover Cleveland was President twice, non consecutively.• The election campaign for the 45th Presidential office features Hillary Clinton as the Democrat front runner, closely followed by Bernie Sanders. The Republican front runners include Jeb Bush and Donald Trump.           

Now, about Donald Trump. Without him, the US Presidential race wouldn’t be nearly as funny. He’s trying to get famous, by making ridiculous statements. Remember, there’s no good popular or bad popular. He is the most popular Republican (47% support according to most opinion polls). No kidding. He’s racist and a (terrible) liar. Still, he was doing fine up until day before yesterday, when he started taking jibes at religion. Big stupid no no in any election campaign book.           

Now, why am I interested in US current affairs more than Indian ones? Tune into any Indian TV channel at any time of the day to find out.           

Emails are supposed to be informative, aren’t they? It’s a natural email instinct. I went overboard with that. Learning more stuff never did any harm. Or maybe it did a little harm. Knowledge is subjective, but never bad.           

Enough for this week, matey.           

Tis, mate, was the Weekly Email Blast, email 38. Happy Weekend!

Samit Sharma

Published December 4, 2015

Ding Ding Ding!         

That’s not the doorbell, or the elevator. That mate, is the sound of December. The last month of every year, if you’re into the Gregorian calendar.         

December is the only month with weather that is slightly tolerable in Mumbai. As long as you stay out of the sun. Now you’ll see apps, movies, TV shows and pretty much everything that exists farting Christmas. Christmas is very subjective. I like Christmas. You might not. And if you don’t like Christmas, something is wrong with you.           

Enough about Christmas. There’s 20 more days to go for Christmas. I’m writing this email sitting on a dusty stair at a mildly depressing stadium. As I kind of watch less than 10 year olds ‘sport’, with games like ‘Saath Saath hum Squeeze karein’. There is both not creepy about that. That is the actual game which Third graders are playing. It involves sponges, and lots of questions in everyone’s heads except the kids. Teens danced to Vengaboys’ ‘To Brazil’. That was good, actually. The song. Nothing else.

My brother ran his first race today and stood fifth, another meh. The last time I was on this ground, a mosquito gave me Dengue. And I had to spend the following week wasting precious last few days of school.          

Last week, Marvel released the first trailer for Captain America: Civil War. DC comics couldn’t stand that. They released the second trailer for Batman vs Superman. With this one I’m clearly on team Batman.              

I wrote the mail a few hours ago. I’m shooting it to ya now. That explains the constant change in tenses. And other inconsistencies.              

Tis, mate, was Weekly Email Blast, Email 37. Happy December!

Samit Sharma

Published November 27, 2015

Здравствуйте, matey !!!       

Don’t freak out, it’s Russian for hello. Alternatively, I wanted to say hello in Turkish. I’m trying to maintain Rus-kish ties. It just sounds really cool. I did not Put in a lot of effort in that one. Sorry.       

Rus-kish reminds me of Ruskin Bond, who recently started writing a monthly column, Musings from the Mountains for the Times of India. I really liked it. Bond reminds me of SPECTRE. I kind of sort of almost didn’t like  SPECTRE. Seriously, Bond, what went wrong? Daniel Craig was kind of clueless, and are the censor board made ‘Balls!’ ‘cats!’. To conclude, the movie is worth watching because Lea Séydoux.        

College reopened today, but it was evident that both teachers and students don’t give a crap about test results. Us Arts students, we’re free souls. I guess the teachers feel the same. But currently, nothing is on my priority radar except Mockingjay part 2. I’ve got to see it. It is an end to another series. But chiefly because there’s Jennifer Lawrence in it. The only problem is that SPECTRE is still hounding most movie slots.

Word of advice: as of now, try to ignore most Indian TV news channels. They’re making a fuss of tiny little things, instead of reacting responsibly: ignoring petty things and moving on.           

Tis, mate was the Weekly Email Blast, Email 36. Happy weekend!

Samit Sharma

Published November 20, 2015

Salut, matey!     

 I hope you’re alive and well. That is the kind of line you should use in every email or letter or whatever because if the person is not alive, she/he won’t bother reading anyway. Also so many people have been dying for no reason lately, and I was curious.       

That last sentence was not supposed to be insensitive in any way. But we do know what happened a few hours after I shot off Email Blast 34. Eight asshole terrorists from the ISIS shot actual Parisians who were out celebrating their Friday. They killed 130 people, injured several more. For absolutely no reason at all. Sigh.

And while the media was busy drawing similarities between the 13/11 Paris attacks and 26/11 Mumbai attacks, the French police found the masterminds et related assholes, then killed them. This was followed by raids at all suspect terrorist operation bases in France, Belgium and Italy. That is the main difference between the Paris and Mumbai attacks: the aftermath. India isn’t really good at learning lessons, even at the cost of human lives.       

Right now, gunmen have attacked the Radisson Blu hotel in Mali, Africa, taken 120-some guests and staff hostage, and laid siege to the hotel. All I’m trying to say is, there seems to be no end to this shit. Some humans are helpless, the rest are hopeless.         

Moving on from crappy news, SPECTRE released in India today. SPECTRE stands for Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion. It’s an evil organization, Bond is the guy who’ll do something that won’t be good for SPECTRE. That is the plot summary of the movie, based on the fact that I haven’t yet seen it. SPECTRE had a cool logo that looked like an octopus. The movie came along, and made it thinner, kinda like an octopus ghost, but still cool.

This just shows how humans are obsessed with a thinner body image. And with lesser tentacles on a octopus. Now it’s a septapus I guess. It has to have to something with numerology. Meh. I like the old one. It has something to do with aliens. Just look at those eyes. They aren’t earth-based.       

I put an end to all SPECTRE related cluelessness tomorrow. You should too.       

Tis, mate, was the Weekly Email Blast, email 35. Happy Weekend !!!

Samit Sharma

Published November 13, 2015

BOO!

If you suffer from friggatriskaidekaphobia, also called as paraskevidekatriaphobia, today isn’t a great day for you. I don’t like exaggerated big words, but hey, I didn’t make them. It’s Friday the 13th, and the related phobia is all about a blinding fear of this day — however irrational it may seem. One of the tales it originated from is a Norse legend in which 12 Gods were invited to a feast, and the 13th crashed the party and then trashed the heavens.      

I know it isn’t something that concerns us a lot, but you’d be surprised how common fear about Black Friday is in the Western Hemisphere. An estimated $800 Million is lost every Fridaythe thirteenth. People act all spooked mad don’t travel, trade, or work. And on the other hand, megastores across Europe and America have crazy sales on Black Friday. Real crazy ones, with discounts that actually matter, in attempt to avert any possible losses.     

Now let’s move on from the unnecessary subject. One week into the Diwali holidays. It’s been a good, festive time with lots of food, light and smoke. Less smoke, this year. I can say with a little pride that people have been using less fireworks. Less, but still a lot too handle for our already sick atmosphere. I met up with you, and most people from my class, in a village. A damn village. It wasn’t all bad (frankly, it was) and at least I no longer miss school (he he he).      I have also kept up with the Cricket All Stars league. It’s nice to see one team of all time greats (Warne’s Warriors) smother another team of all time greats (Sachin’s Blasters). Twice, in American baseball grounds. Good Times. Sort of.     

Also, Happy new year, if you accord with the Hindu calendar.‘Tis, mate was the Weekly Email Blast, email 34. Happy weekend !

Samit Sharma

Published November 6, 2015

Good morning, matey!         

It’s not morning. I know. But I just woke up from a four hour nap. So you could say I started the day afresh second time today. That’s what always happens when I have tests in the morning. I’m done with midterm tests. So here’s to more holidays. Again, just woke up from a nap, so I’m naturally extra grumpy.         

Sleeping is my second favorite thing in the world (after eating, duh). When I was little, I didn’t like naps and thought they were for old people. Boy, was I wrong. Fast forward to ninth and tenth grade, sleep was more valuable than platinum. Sometimes I need to go to college early, and that reminds me of my school nap timetable. (I actually had one).

Enough about sleep. Starting this weekend is the official best time of the year. Major religious festivals coming up over the next two months. Also, this is the fifth month this year I’m getting a vacation. Still was the fastest eight months of my life. Can’t believe it’s November. Which reminds me, happy November.     

 There’s big things coming up in the last two months of the year. Like BIG things. First, there’s the movies : Spectre, Mockingjay part 2, and of course, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Watch the trailers if you haven’t. Just do. Then go watch the movies, which release in India late like always.            

And of course, the elephant god in the room, Wednesday is Diwali, India’s biggest festival. Christmas on steroids in a tropical country. (Ha!). It’s still a beautiful festival, and comes with delicious delicious food. And an assured spike in blood sugar. And fireworks. Gorgeous fireworks. Gorgeous toxic pollutant fireworks. ‘Can’t argue with air pollution if it looks awesome for three seconds’- India. Anyway. Regardless of whether you like stuff or not, do mess around with lights. They’re beautiful. Not like this though.

Enjoy.       

 Tis, mate was the Weekly Email Blast, email 33. Happy festivities!

Samit Sharma

Published October 30, 2015

Boo-jour!         

Tomorrow is Halloween, and my French test. Geddit? I suppose you did. I thought of many scary greetings to try to scare you via the screen you’re looking at now. But was more on the creepy side than on the scary one. And boo! came with two problems : A) I’d already used it before and 2) It could be easily confused with this famous Pomeranian, also named Boo.

Aww. Look at that spitz. (Not a bad word). I am sure you are compelled to use the dictionary. I doubt that is gonna yield cute results. Try google instead.         

I am so relieved that tomorrow is my French test. I don’t have to study French. I’ve been doing so for four years, so I can freewheel through 11th grade French (they reboot the syllabus). Literally the first time studying beforehand was fruitful. Yesterday I had my Psychology test. Psychology almost lives up to the hype. The only problem is they don’t let us practice or test the weird theories we learn on humans. And we should learn to let go off emotions. They’re all sorts of trouble. And the boring part of my textbook. Emorons. Geddit?          I get songs stuck in my head a lot. Usually when I explore newer songs. Earlier this week, Adele released her first song in four years, Hello (how convenient). Then for two days the song started auto playing in my head, at the most inconvenient times, like when you’re peeing or when you’re writing a test. But damn, she can sing. Then I heard Selena Gomez’s Same Old Love on the Tonight show. And ta-da, it’s stuck. Even today the damn song starts playing in my head at the weirdest times, especially when I’m peeing.          

And the most important thing: Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Old School (book ten) comes out this Tuesday. It’s the most anticipated book of 2015. And has a massive legacy to live up to. So here’s to the another thing Old School.

esterday I got a new iPad. I call the personalization shots on this one. The Air 2 is really really light, which makes typing on it real easy. If, you know, you type long emails, AND FRIGGIN’ REPLY TO THEM.

  ‘Tis mate, was Weekly Email Blast, Email 32. Happy Halloween!