Samit Sharma
Published March 4, 2016
AHOY, MATEY !!!
I’ve hit half a century. Glory be. 50 consecutive email blasts, which calls for a celebration: Email Blast style.
I clocked in over 20,000 words of my patent mixed genre jargon over the last 11+ months. Most of them emails were me-based or news-based. Some of them included rarely relevant pictures, gifs, and one particularly embarrassing PDF (curse that mumbo jumbo EmPerrish, circa WEB 5) Sent to your inbox on one Saturday and 49 Fridays. I’ll just go over one blast like an unnecessary nostalgia act.
‘I have no idea how to make an email sound less formal, ’cause emails are the most formal sounding thing EVER. Still, luckily or unluckily [I leave that to you] you’ll find me in your inbox, every week, trying to separate social bamboo shoots from social bamboo roots like a socially clueless panda. If you don’t want me bothering your inbox, go ahead and delete me from Google Contacts. But just remember: Pandas like me are critically endangered.’ (Circa WEB 1)
I want to forcibly imply that the Weekly Email Blast, a non-profit all goody goody venture is lucky for everyone. After I started shooting Weekly Emails, India’s HDI went up 5 ranks, we got Netflix, my hometown won the IPL and the Kabaddi league, we got a new Star Wars movie, and Leonardo DiCaprio won an actual Oscar. You might say that I didn’t have a lot or anything to do with that. But ask yourself: did these things happen before there was a Weekly Email Blast? No. Nopity nopity nope.
However, I was able to make emails less formal. Because I emailed you so often, it became less and less rare, thus a little normal. I left school, went to college, where I met some swell people (and many idiot knuckleheads). And all through it, continued the phenomenon that is Weekly Email Blast.
That’s all I have to ‘celebrate’ the 50 WEBs so far. But the biggest celebration is the million other WEBs you will find in your inbox week after week, till the time the internet ceases to exist. Chances of that happening are astronomically low, still as a precautionary measure I will try to train some local pigeons for the highly unlikely Weekly PigeonMail Blast. And like I said in WEB 1, Circa 28 March 2015:
‘Prepare yourself for an amazing email in your inbox every week.’
‘Tis, mate was the 50th Weekly Email Blast. Happy weekend !
All Things Sam 