Samit Sharma
Published June 19, 2015
Boo!
I don’t know if you have triskaidekaphobia (the fear of no. 13). But as far as I know, this email is curse-free. Don’t freak out. 13 has actually been a lucky number for me. Too bad I don’t believe in superstition. By the way, superstitious Chinese people are afraid of the no. 4. Morons.
Isn’t it awesome when it’s raining? Today it’s raining so well that it’s a freakin’ holiday. It doesn’t make any difference for me, my holidays continue for a month more. The Indian monsoon, coupled with Mumbai’s crappy storm water drainage system can only give us a longer weekend. I don’t get it. Same problem every year. Students should stay in school when it rains a lot and study Urban Drainage. Someone should solve this shit. Yikes. I sound like a politician. Blech!
In cooler cities (in terms of temperature, not swag), people get snowed in. ‘Cause snow is solid and it blocks doors and streets and stuff. In Mumbai, people get rained in. ‘Cause they don’t have boats or jet packs. Why aren’t jet packs mainstream yet? It would solve every transport trouble we’ve ever faced. A world with jet packs would be so much better. And, we could get revenge on poopy birds. I didn’t mean to sound ridiculous. It just came out that way. Jet packs are definitely on my Dictatorship plans.
As of now, those of you who don’t have jet packs (ie, all of us) should just make the most of this rainy weekend. I don’t recommend it, but annoying earthworms is very enjoyable. Also, don’t get revenge on poopy birds. They only do that ’cause the government doesn’t make bird restrooms. So the next time fortune plops a stinky bird turd on you, scream some expletives, change your clothes and move on.
‘Tis, mate, was Weekly Email Blast, email 13. Boo~ooo~ooo. Happy rains!!!
All Things Sam 